Bryony Gordon Admits Secretly Returning to Smoking After Five Years as £21 Cigarette Purchase Leaves Her Humiliated

Journalist Bryony Gordon has revealed that she has started smoking cigarettes again after almost five years without nicotine, describing the return to the habit as one of the most embarrassing admissions she has made.

Gordon said her relapse began during a summer holiday in Greece, where she was relaxing on the beach when she asked her husband for a cigarette after dinner.

He refused to give her one, but when he went to the toilet, she took a cigarette from his packet and went for an evening walk.

She said the incident quickly brought back her previous addiction, leading her to start hiding her smoking and secretly seeking opportunities to have cigarettes.

Cigarette Purchase Leaves Gordon Embarrassed

After returning to Britain, Gordon went to a local newsagent to buy Camel Blue cigarettes, but the experience left her feeling uncomfortable.

She approached the counter with her hood pulled over her head, hoping not to attract attention. The young shop assistant initially did not recognise the brand and asked whether she was looking for a vape refill.

Gordon explained that she wanted cigarettes, prompting the assistant to search through a concealed drawer containing different tobacco brands.

He showed her several packets bearing graphic health warnings before finding the cigarettes she requested.

The purchase cost £21, while customers waiting behind her appeared disapproving of the transaction.

Gordon said the experience was particularly humiliating because she had spent nearly five years avoiding tobacco and nicotine.

Secret Smoking Becomes Part of Her Daily Routine

Gordon explained that she now wakes up 30 minutes earlier than the rest of her household to smoke outside without being noticed.

She goes into the garden wearing her dressing gown and hides behind a bush to avoid being seen by neighbours.

After smoking, she washes her hands, brushes her teeth and takes a shower before returning indoors, hoping her husband and daughter will not discover what she has been doing.

She also waits for them to leave the house so she can smoke again.

Gordon said she had told a friend about her return to cigarettes, but the reaction was one of disappointment.

The friend questioned why she had resumed smoking, with Gordon suggesting that the reaction might have been more sympathetic if she had disclosed a relapse involving alcohol or cocaine.

Gordon Rejects Switching to Vaping

Gordon said her friend advised her to consider vaping instead, but she has little interest in replacing cigarettes with electronic alternatives.

She referred to the growing popularity of vaping in Britain, saying the habit had become so socially accepted that it did not appeal to her.

She also described the secrecy surrounding cigarette smoking as part of what currently attracts her to the habit, including the need to hide, use perfume to cover the smell and find private places to smoke.

Gordon said she regarded her return to cigarettes as a possible attempt to satisfy a desire to be rebellious during midlife.

However, she acknowledged the damage smoking causes to the body and the surrounding environment.

She ended her confession by saying that making the habit public through her column meant she now had no choice but to stop smoking again.

Gordon Comments on Jude Bellingham’s Calvin Klein Campaign

In a separate section of her column, Gordon discussed England footballer Jude Bellingham’s new advertising campaign for Calvin Klein.

She said the images had left her feeling attracted to the young footballer, although she questioned whether it was appropriate given that she is 46 and exactly twice his age.

Gordon joked that the campaign had made it more difficult for her to claim that her admiration for Bellingham was based entirely on his footballing ability and his capacity to speak Spanish.

Bella Maclean’s No-Nudity Contract Clause

Gordon also commented on actress Bella Maclean’s decision to include a no-nudity clause in her contract for the new series of television drama Rivals.

Maclean, who plays Taggie O’Hara, said she wanted to keep certain aspects of herself private.

Gordon praised the actress, who is 28, for being clear about her boundaries and standing by her decision.

However, she joked that if she were appearing in a production based on Jilly Cooper’s novels, she would prefer a contractual requirement to appear naked at all times.

Andy Burnham Considers Ban on Single-Use Condiment Sachets

Gordon welcomed plans by Andy Burnham to consult on a possible ban on single-use condiment sachets.

The proposal would bring Britain closer to European Union restrictions, which are due to prohibit the plastic items from 2030 on environmental grounds.

She said she disliked being served ketchup in individual sachets at restaurants, arguing that presenting customers with bottles was a more appealing option.

Gordon added that condiment sachets could make restaurants appear inexpensive.

Gordon Discovers European Fashion Brand Lefties

Gordon also described discovering the European fashion retailer Lefties during a recent half-term holiday in Portugal.

She arrived in the country without her luggage and went to a shopping centre to buy replacement clothes.

There, she found Lefties, a brand that began as a way for Zara to sell its leftover stock.

She said she purchased several affordable items, including burgundy slingback shoes costing less than £20.

Gordon also discovered that the retailer had recently opened its second UK store in Essex, describing the shopping experience as an unexpected benefit of her missing luggage.

Musical’s Bagpipe Warning Attracts Attention

Gordon’s column also addressed a warning issued to audiences attending Ceilidh The Musical in London.

The production, which is produced by actor Alan Cumming, informs visitors that its live music, including bagpipes, may be loud.

Although Gordon said she was generally not a supporter of trigger warnings, she welcomed this particular notice because she dislikes excessively loud noise.