Dating Decoded: 84% Of Daters Say Rising Costs Are Changing How They Date

Modern-day dating is complex, but when finances are added to the mix, things get even more complicated. With the cost of everything from food to gas rising exponentially, money is becoming an increasingly important part of dating convos and the overall experience.

New research from The Zelle New Economics of Dating Report has identified some Gen Z and Millennial dating trends as they relate to finances. At a high level, the report found 84% of Gen Z and Millennial daters say rising costs have affected their dating lives. For some, it means making adjustments, like trading expensive nights out for more affordable plans, while 32% say they’re going on fewer dates because of rising costs. Others have thrown in the towel on dating altogether—11% say they’ve stopped dating because they couldn’t afford it.

While some are scaling back on spending, others are going into debt to make an impression. Among Gen Z respondents specifically, 20% say they’ve taken on debt to maintain a certain lifestyle on the dating scene. Seventeen percent say they’ve asked friends or family for money for a date.

So, what does dating on a budget look like? Daters are focused on the intangible, which translates into intentional, thoughtful outings.

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More respondents said they would view someone more positively for planning an affordable but thoughtful date (38%) than for planning an extravagant, high-end date (23%). Forty percent are choosing less expensive activities, 38% prefer more frequent, economical dates over occasional splurges, and 37% are suggesting free activities.

Budgeting for dates is also a green flag amongst daters. Half of those surveyed say financial compatibility is more important than romantic chemistry when deciding whether to continue seeing a prospect. In fact, almost one-quarter (24%) have decided not to pursue someone because they weren’t financially compatible.

Speaking of incompatibility, there are financial “icks” that are chasing daters out the door.

The biggest turnoffs include making someone uncomfortable about what they can afford, expecting the other person to pay for everything, and complaining about every price, according to 47% of respondents. Talking too much about income also landed at 47%, while making a big deal about paying came in at 46%.

There’s also a noticeable gender divide when it comes to expectations about who’s forking out cash for dates. More than half of female respondents (56%) say they get the ick when a date expects them to pay for everything, compared with 34% of male respondents. Similarly, 55% of women say making a big deal about paying is a turnoff, compared with 34% of men.

And then there’s the post-date payment shuffle.

Over half of daters have used a person-to-person payment platform such as Zelle to settle expenses during or after a date, and the number is even higher for Gen Z. Restaurant meals were the most common expense settled this way, followed by event tickets, trips and vacations, and food delivery or takeout.

Ultimately, the research suggests that modern dating is less about how much you spend and more about how you approach money.