My worthless father putting arguments to my girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I just turned 18 and I am having a problem with my father. I am living at home. I am learning trade with a builder. This man is never out of work, but he does not pay me well. Sometimes he takes three weeks before giving me some money.

He picks me up in the mornings about 7 o’clock. My mother helps me sometimes to make breakfast. I give my mother money from the little I get from the man because she does not get much from my father. So, my mother or I make sandwiches for me to take to work.

My father is always cursing me and calling me worthless. He tells me I should stop being the man’s apprentice and find something to do. However, from the time I was a child I always want to learn how to build houses. My family lives in a board house. It is not my parents’ place. I told my mother that I would love to build her a concrete house, and she told me it is good to dream big.

The house we are living in belongs to my father’s brother, and my father would not even buy a pound of nail to repair the house. He says it is not his house. I am not concerned about him; I am concerned about my mother and my girlfriend.

My father is a drunkard. He says the nastiest things about me. I have a girlfriend and my father told her that she is wasting her time with me. He said some terrible things and she told me everything. She even told me that she believes that my father is trying to have a relationship with her. He asked my girlfriend how much money she gets from me and she told him that she is not with me to get money because she knows that I am only learning trade. My father then said to her that he can give her money.

My mother asked him why he told the girl these things and he told my mother that he didn’t tell her these things, but if he did, he was drunk at the time.

The man I am working with told me that he would start to give me $20,000 per week starting December. I am starting to learn everything including laying blocks. I am also learning to work with the plumber and the electrician. I am learning everything in the field. My boss tells everybody that I am a hard worker. I have been learning trade with him for two years. He says he is a Christian, but he is not a good one because when people get him angry, including workmen, he curses bad words.

My boss told me that he would help me to get a piece of land to build my own house. From the time I heard that my father was chatting up with my girlfriend, I don’t say much to him again.

G.A.

Dear G.A.,

I want to say to you, don’t give up. You would want to be a builder, so stick with what you are doing. It will take a long time for you to develop your skills and to learn how to build a good house. So, you should not be eager to get money from the man with whom you are working with.

On the other hand, your boss should be more reasonable. He should consider that you need personal stuff and you need to buy food to take with you to work. I am glad that your mother understands what you are going though and she assists you.

Your father is not thinking ahead. He wants you to become a hustler. Many of the young men who are on the road hustling are only thinking about a little money to buy a patty. They are not thinking about learning to build a future. What a wonderful thing it would be when you are able to build your own home on your own land. Your mother would be so proud of you.

Concerning what your father said to your girlfriend, he must have been very much under his liquor. He has disgraced himself.

I hope that your boss will indeed keep his word and start paying you more by the first week in December. He has made you that promise and I believe he sees that you are making a very good contribution to his business. Stick with him. I am sure that you will continue to be a good worker and he would not want you to leave him.

Pastor