Unmasking the social façade of perfection

Today’s society seems to have normalised silent internal suffering. We have normalised using daily social greetings as social clichés and thereby not honestly responding to express the turmoil that may be going on underneath.

For instance, a simple greeting of “how are you?” is taken lightly as a formality with a socially accepted answer, “I am fine”. This is what we do even on days when we are at our lowest and missing out on the opportunity to get the support we may urgently need. At the same time, those who innocently ask with no real concern would go about their day even when our body language may give it away that we do not have it all together.

Moreover, in this world of social media, we are constantly caught up in the “Duck Syndrome” where we want to maintain a perfect picture of smoothly gliding while furiously paddling underneath. This not only eventually takes a toll on our mental health but also denies us the opportunity to get the much-needed help. Moreover, once we perfect pretence, it will be impossible for anyone to sense our struggles, and it may give an impression that we are the only ones going through hard times while everyone else is doing quite well. Unfortunately, as humans, we can only pretend and put up a façade for so long before the cracks start to show. It would not be long before the cracks of “smiling depression” start becoming visible. It will not take long before it manifests itself in emotional and anger outbursts, occasional irritable moments and long sleepless nights. It would not be long until it becomes toxic to the point that one gets drowned in anxiety and panic attacks or even becomes unrecognisable to oneself.

For example, research shows that 80% of employees in the workplace hide their struggles and their depression from their supervisor in an attempt not to come across as weak. However, the longer this persists, the more it becomes an emotional and mental disaster waiting to happen. This can also be worsened by today’s toxic positivity and hyper-independence, where one can sacrifice their peace to be stuck in the illusion of holding it together.

Therefore, to maintain optimum mental health disposition, there is a need for us to make it normal not to be okay. This may require us to revisit the daily habits that we may have subconsciously adopted to our detriment. It may require us to revise the way we use social media platforms and find better, more meaningful ways to utilise them. We may also first accept ourselves as we are and adopt a more realistic and positive self- concept, free from unrealistic societal expectations. This may help relieve us from the pressure of needing to appear perfect but rather just as authentic as we are.

On top of that, we must adopt a culture of honesty not only to others but to ourselves enough to tell when we are not fine and create an opportunity for help and intervention. After all, overcoming mental health challenges is multidisciplinary, and not only a pill or one event is remedial. It also requires continuous intentional habits and rituals we must practice on a daily basis, just as we take a daily bath for health and hygiene purposes.

*Uncommon Sense is published in the New Era with contributions from Karlos Naimwhaka. YouTube channel: Karlos Lokos.

– karlsimbumusic@gmail.com

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