Anxiety During Menopause: Dr. Lori Davis Explains What Helps

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I’m Dr Lori Davis, and I have anxiety too (Dr. Lori Davis)Dr. Lori Davis doesn't hide the fact that she experiences the condition she helps others manage.

"I'm Dr. Lori Davis, and I have anxiety," is her opening line on her Instagram reels.

A clinical psychologist in New York City, Davis also teaches and supervises psychology graduate students. On Instagram, she talks openly about anxiety, including her own, and encourages people to pursue their lives even when they feel nervous.

"You can be anxious, and you can be shy," she told me. "You can get out in the world. You can deal with your symptoms."

As someone who has lived with anxiety since my teens, I appreciated that perspective. Our conversation focused on what women can do when anxiety appears or intensifies in midlife, and why they shouldn't dismiss what they're experiencing.

For some women, anxiety feels unfamiliar. For others, symptoms they've experienced before return or become more difficult to manage.

"All of a sudden, you have anxiety, or maybe you've had anxiety your whole life, and then it kicks up again," Davis said.

The menopause transition can coincide with disrupted sleep and demanding circumstances. Women may be caring for children and aging parents, managing careers, or reconsidering relationships and their own priorities.

"We're juggling kids, aging parents, careers, re-evaluating ourselves, criticizing ourselves," Davis said.

That last point matters. Alongside their symptoms, women may question why they can't handle as much as someone else appears to.

Davis described the self-critical questions she hears: "What's wrong with me?" and "Why am I anxious?"

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists notes that some women report anxiety during perimenopause and that mood changes during this transition deserve attention.

Davis urged women to give their mental health the same attention they give other aspects of their health.

"Your mental health issues may change during this time, and you need to attend to that just like you would attend to your bone health and your diet and everything else," she said.

Davis's workbook, This Is Your Anxiety on Menopause: A Workbook for Women to Find Calm in Midlife and Beyond, helps readers identify their symptoms and consider strategies suited to their needs.

"I try to write it in a very accessible way," she said.

The exercises guide women through recognizing what they're experiencing and putting together a plan. Davis described relaxation strategies, breathing exercises, self-compassion, and visualization, along with attention to movement, nutrition, and participation in everyday life.

The workbook also asks readers to consider what they want next, whether that involves a career change, relocation, or navigating a relationship transition.

"How can you map out your next steps with ease?" Davis said. "Going slowly, one step."

She aims to make the process approachable for someone who may already feel overwhelmed.

Avoidance can keep anxiety goingWhen anxiety rises, withdrawing can feel tempting.

"Sometimes when people are freaking out, they're like, 'I just want to pull the covers over my head. I don't feel like myself. I don't want to go out,'" Davis said.

But repeatedly avoiding feared situations can reinforce anxiety and limit daily life.

"The most important thing is to approach your fears," she said.

That doesn't mean tackling the most frightening situation all at once. Davis described working with patients to break a fear into smaller components and practice manageable steps.

This approach is part of exposure therapy, a treatment used to help people tolerate distress associated with feared situations. The National Institute of Mental Health identifies exposure therapy as an approach used for anxiety disorders.

A qualified therapist can help develop an appropriate plan.

I recognized this pattern from my own experience. Public speaking and taking improv classes have both made me anxious. Continuing to participate has given me opportunities to discover that I can feel nervous and still enjoy what I'm doing.

Davis emphasized that people have different needs and preferences when it comes to treatment.

"Some people prefer to take medication. It works beautifully for them," she said. "Other people don't like the side effects."

Anxiety treatment can involve psychotherapy, medication, or both. The appropriate approach depends on the person and should be discussed with a qualified healthcare professional.

For Davis, being heard is an essential part of that process.

"It's working with a professional who's going to listen to you and not poo-poo side effects, who's really going to be supportive of you," she said.

She encouraged women to seek practitioners who take time to understand their lives and concerns. A therapist doesn't need to have experienced anxiety personally to provide good care, she added.

"Try to find someone who's a good fit for you," Davis said. "Obviously, check out that they're licensed."

What helped before may need adjustingManaging anxiety can require reassessing strategies as circumstances change.

"Sometimes coping strategies that worked for you 10 years ago don't work for you anymore," Davis said. "So you try out new things."

She also cautioned against treating daily routines as rigid requirements. Exercise, for example, can look different depending on energy levels and what else is happening.

"You can do a little bit some days and a lot other days," she said.

That flexibility can be useful for women who already feel they're falling short. A tired day or an interrupted routine doesn't have to become another reason for self-criticism.

Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Davis whether she sees a therapist herself.

"I do see a therapist," she said. "I would say that I find it really helpful."

She has attended therapy on and off since she was first diagnosed with anxiety and has worked with different therapists over the years.

"I've been really fortunate to find some therapists who really got me," she said, adding that she also values being challenged.

Her openness offered a reminder that professional knowledge doesn't eliminate the need for personal support.

For women wondering whether to seek help, her advice was direct.

"Figure out what works for you, but don't ignore your symptoms."

Learn more about Davis and her work at DrLoriDavis.com.