Our 42-year sweet love story, by the Awoyinfas

**When **the young, smart, and energetic Mike Awoyinfa first saw the beautiful Olubukola, then a secondary schoolgirl, in his native Ijebu-jesha, there was little spark of love. But that wasn’t for long.

Years later, the man who would later become one of Nigeria’s most passionate reporters of his generation, pioneer editor of the Nigeria’s first weekend newspaper (Weekend Concord), and the founding Managing Director/Editor-in-Chief of The Sun Publishing Limited, would eventually take the same Bukky to the altar following a chance reunion after a church service in their hometown, Ijebu-Jesha. The union produced three hugely successful boys, now men. That young lady of those days recently turned 70, and the family, their friends and associates from all parts of the globe gathered and serenaded her with a lovely surprise birthday celebration in Cancun, Mexico. The couple also renewed their vows at a solemn white wedding in the Mexican tourist city.

In this interview, Awoyinfa and his wife spoke about their amazing marital journey of over four decades.

Sir, how was growing up like for you?

Sir Mike: I was born and bred in Ghana where I attended primary and secondary schools. I had my O’levels in Ghana and came to Nigeria for my Higher Secondary School. (HSc) I was raised by my uncle who was a teacher. As he was preparing for his O and A levels examination, he would wake me up to read with him. I imbibed the habit of reading from a tender age and it has helped me a lot. I am a books man with a wide range of library.

How about you, ma’am? Did you have a similar experience?

Lady Bukky: I was born and raised in Nigeria. I attended Ijebu-Jesha Grammar school and, later, Oyo College of Education, Ilesha. I am a sports enthusiast. I participate in all sports activities including long tennis and table tennis. In over 40 years, taking an hour’s walk daily has helped me a lot. It is one of the reasons I stay young as people would say.

Sir, since you retired as pioneer Managing Director/Editor-in-Chief of The Sun Publishing Limited, what have you been doing?

Sir Mike: I have been practising journalism of a kind. I still maintain my column in Saturday Sun. Once one becomes a journalist, you are a journalist for life. The profession somehow enters the blood stream because it is the craziest job ever, but I do not regret it. In fact, if I am created again or get to heaven and God asks me, I am sending you back to the world, what profession will you like, I will say I want to be a journalist. It is the job that opened a way for me to be a biographer. It is in the course of the job that I met a friend and brother named Dimgba Igwe who is in heaven now. We bonded together so much in everything. We were twins even in reporting. Thank God for humility. I did not see Dimgba as someone below me.

Instead, I took his brilliance and his authority, being a man of God while I was a man of the world. He was the one converting me and bringing me closer to God. He used to call me, ‘an iniquity man or Baba kaakiri-kaakiri – someone who loves life. Today is not an interview for Dimgba Igwe, but there is no how I will speak without mentioning him, not possible.

How did you meet your spouse?

Sir Mike: It started from Ijebu-Jesha Grammar school in Osun State. So when we came back from Ghana, I went to the school for my Higher School Certificate. (HSC) That was where I saw her for the first time, but I was not led to say anything because she was such a little girl who was active in sports. She specialised in throwing javelin and all other games while I was the school’s fastest runner. I did 100 metres and hurdles and must come first at all times. In fact, both of us represented the Western State during sports activities. Meanwhile, all through that period, I never knew she would be my wife because she was a small girl. How can a man chase a small girl? So long after school, I lived in Ibadan, while her parents also lived in Ibadan, even though we are from the same town. One day we met at the popular Kingsway where I usually went to eat meat pie. She also came for the same meat pie. We met and just said hello, ate our meat pies and left. It got to a period when I was getting old and it was time for marriage. My father was already disturbing me to bring a wife, specifically from our home town. I am someone who obeys my father. So, I drove in my red Toyota Celica from Kaduna to my home town. I was in the church. As I was coming out, I saw her and held her hand. Surprisingly I asked her, ‘are you married?’ She said, ‘not yet.’ I told her: ‘I have married you from now.’ I did not give her the opportunity to say anything. In fact, I drove her straight to my father’s house and said to my father: ‘You have been worrying me to bring a wife, I have brought her. She is the one.’

Meanwhile my family had arranged a girl from a nearby village called Ijeda. My father took me to see the girl who was a secondary school girl in Form 2 or 3 then. I wondered how long I would wait for her. They told her to come and greet her husband; she laughed funnily. So I greeted her and vanished from that day. In my mind, I said my people do not know my taste. Meanwhile, my wife had gained admission into Oyo College of Education, Ilesha. They wanted to give me a small village girl.

**Lady Bukky: **The first time I saw him was when he came to school for his HSC upon his return from Ghana. Then, HSC students were very superior in school. He himself was very popular because of his accent and sports activities. We used to call him Senior or Bobo Ghana. As an athlete too, we usually met during sports events, but there was nothing between us.

Later on in life when I gained admission to Oyo State College of Education, Ilesha; it was during our Christmas holiday as a family at Ijebu-Jesha, I was coming out of the church. Next, he held my hand and then asked, are you married? I said, No. He said, I have married you from now. I queried: Is that how to marry? But he dragged me to his home and told his father, ‘I have brought a wife.’ I said, No; this is not how to marry. And Baba said, Yes, you are his wife. After Baba inquired about my parents, he knew my late father. He proceeded immediately with a drink and prostrated to my mother. Later, he returned and we had our marriage celebrations.

What was the attraction, because you saw each other many times before that church meeting?

Sir Mike: She is beautiful at 70, so you can imagine how she was then. When God decides that this is where you are going, you will have the feeling. So there was no need to waste time. The same day that I presented her to my father, my father carried wine and went to her mother’s house immediately and prostrated before her mother with the wine. Her father was late as at that time. ‘My father said, we have come to marry your daughter.’ Her mother was happy.

**Lady Bukky: **I loved the way he walked. He used to swing while walking, not now that he has become an old man. He was very popular in school then. Till date, some of my schoolmates would always ask after Bros Ghana.

**How has it been in your marriage? **

Sir Mike: She is very patient. A very patient woman she is till date. When we had our first son, we knew it was time for seriousness in the relationship. We had our fair share of marital challenges. In fact, she moved out at a time, and I joined her to move to where she was. We continued and later got another apartment. In that situation we had our set of twin boys which I felt was a sign from God to be very committed. I felt so blessed because both of us do not have twins in our lineages. So the coming of the boys was a miracle that fused the love together. A couple being blessed with three handsome sons! It was God at work. Yes, I played around but must always come back to her and my home. If I may ask, is there any journalist that does not play around? That time, booze and everything! But now, old things have passed away! Behold a new Mike Awoyinfa! I do not look at those things again.

How did you handle his female admirers? His friend, Dimgba Igwe used to call him the iniquity man back then.

**Lady Bukky: **I was just patient with him because I knew he would always come back to me. I used to help him drive women away. Anytime he had problems with women, he would tell me, please I am in trouble; what can I do. You must stand on your feet and help me drive her away. Honestly, I lost count of the women I drove away from him.

Could you give us an example of how you drove them away?

Lady Bukky: There was a time a woman said she would come and report my husband to me. I told her please come, I am waiting for you. Another accused him of fathering her daughter. I told her, bring my husband’s daughter, I want to raise her myself. She ran away and never called again till date.

Whenever anyone called him, I would be responding from the background and disorganise the discussion. I personally love him and do not want to lose him to other women. Anytime he comes back, I will welcome him and accept whatever the day brings with patience. If I had fought him, I would have lost him to other women long ago. So, I took his shortcomings with patience. At a stage, I became afraid, and pleaded with him to be careful so none of those women would harm him. Women love him a lot. Now, he is a born again Christian. Old things have passed away. He has changed and is taking life easy. I have become the winner.

You shower your wife with accolades, especially on raising your children, as you were mostly absent. How did both of you manage it?

She did almost everything. My only contribution was to pay all payables. But then, I remember that at a certain age, I bought notebooks for all my children which they used to write their daily biography. They must write how they spent their day everyday, which will be submitted to me. Anyone who fails to write sees daddy’s anger. That helped them a lot. My first son Jide will not write; but the moment he hears the sound of daddy’s car, he will quickly rush to scribble something on his note. I also encouraged a culture of reading for my boys from a young age. I am a bookman with a big library, so I indoctrinated my children with books. There was Harry Porter series which was both children and adults book written by a British woman. It was newsworthy and dramatic at the same time. It came in series and I bought all copies. Any time I bought them, my children would fight over who would read first. With that, they imbibed the reading culture early enough and it helped them greatly. Today, they have grown into big married men in various fields and I am a proud father and grandfather. They all have libraries in their various homes. I am happy with what they have achieved in life and where they are presently.

Lady Bukky: My husband was completely absent from the home front because of the nature of his work. It got so bad that my twins did not know him when they were one year old. So what I did was when he returned from his trips, I would lock him up with the boys to bond. On his own part, he would buy all buyables for them. At a stage, he stopped buying edibles and started buying books. I recall one time he was coming from abroad, one suitcase was filled with books and the children were disappointed. He had a way of making them read. But then, while raising them as a teacher, we would go to school and come back together. We would do everything – outing, shopping and whatever together. My eyes were always on them at all times. I was always there. During the holidays, they kept all academics away. Daddy brought them a guitar and piano teacher and they grew with all that. One is a great pianist while another is a guitar player.

Please tell us about madam’s recent 70th birthday celebrations

**Sir Mike: **Surprisingly, to celebrate her birthday, my children flew us to Mexico, brought the whole world to the hotel where they kept us all for over 10 days. They took care of everything, accommodation, feed as much as you can. They are godsend children to us. They also decided that we must use it as an opportunity to remarry each other before them. In fact we had our white wedding in Mexico. My wife wore a wedding gown for the first time, because we did traditional and civil marriage.

Lady Bukky: It was wonderful, honestly. My daughter-in-law that lives here in Nigeria took us to a shop and asked me ‘Mummy pick the things you need.’ With one cloth as expensive as N300,000. She said ‘Mummy, pick. Seventy is not seven days. Next, our tickets were sent to us for our Mexico trip. It was so much fun. Relatives came from all over the world. We were 46 guests in the same hotel with all children and grandchildren. What could have been happier than that? The icing on the sugar was when I wore my dream wedding gown and we took our vows. May God bless my children. That is all I can say.

How did you manage finances?

Sir Mike: Even though she was working, I was the pay master and cash cow. God has been awesome to us. There were opportunities for other projects. Then, I used to travel a lot and whatever money I made from allowances, I keep it because journalism is not a well paid job.

Lady Bukky: We did not lack anything. He took care of us, but as a woman, my little support also counts.

What is your spouse’s favourite food?

**Sir Mike: **She likes fried plantain and beans, then pastries. Even at this age, she is a meat pie woman.

**Lady Bukky: **He likes Okro soup with semovita, then rice. But now we have changed to strict healthy diet. Very little swallow and plenty veggies in his soup. He eats chicken and dried fish mostly now. We are not beef eaters per se.

How about drinks?

**Sir Mike: **She is not a drinks person. I was the one that was drinking Guinness Stout and red wine in those days. Then, I used to take The Sun’s former MD, Eric Osagie to beer parlours. It was at beer parlours that we were deciding headlines on all subjects.

Lady Bukky: He used to drink Guinness stout and red wine. We used to have them in cartons years ago. But he has stopped taking all types of drinks. He now takes only water. He can take freshly blended fruits as well. But he is also a lover of coffee anytime.

What of her favourite holiday spot?

Sir Mike: She likes to travel to America.

**In your younger years, was there anything your spouse did that you didn’t like? **

Sir Mike: I cannot remember. I am not the type that keeps things in my mind. If I get angry today, I will forget it the next day. Same way I follow my wife.

Lady Bukky: He does not keep anger and malice at all. His mind is always free.

At over 70, what has kept you both strong, energetic and young?

Sir Mike: I was a sportsman as a young man. I used to jog seriously, but not anymore now. I try to exercise and eat healthy food, all thanks to my wife.

Lady Bukky: I am a graduate of Physical and Health Education. It really helped me. So, in the last 40 years, I walk for one hour everyday, except on Sundays. Even when I travel during winter, my son will tell me ‘Mummy do not go out, but I will go before he wakes up.

What will you like to be remembered for?

Sir Mike: I want to be remembered for the things I did in journalism, especially in Weekend Concord and The Sun Publishing Limited. I carried those two newspapers on my head. My bosom friend, Dimgba Igwe and I wrote classical management books. We sold a copy then for N10,000.00, which was big money. It was the proceeds from our books that built our houses. We had our company then with the same account details. The two houses were built by Dimgba. That was the level of trust we had for each other. He would just call me, Ogbeni where are you? Come and sign this cheque. I would sign. He did all the job. There was nothing like tribalism between us.

Did you ever travel with him to Igbere, his home town?

Sir Mike: We usually went as a family. I am a chief in Igbere.

Lady Bukky: We used to travel as a whole family to Igbere to spend Christmas.

What advice would you give to today’s young couples?

Sir Mike: They should pray to God to meet a wife that will make them happy. Just like my wife. Anytime, she travels out and I am alone, I will be here thinking until she is back. If anything should happen to my wife, I am finished because I will not know what to do. I do not know anything in managing a home except to read and write.

Again, journalists should be writing books. They should make it a part of the profession and achievement to leave legacies.

**Lady Bukky: **In those days, men were always advised to marry teachers because teachers have time. Again, the influx of the social media is a big fight on marriages. First, parents should not enhance their children with Android phones at a tender age. They should allow them to be children, because childhood does not come a second time.

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