Dogs die better than human beings

Two deaths to report in the last week, both different but both devastating: one friend lost her dad, one friend lost her dog.

Do these even begin to compare? Well, I suppose that depends upon how you feel about your dog. And your dad.

A pet is a precious, non-judgmental, adoring companion for a season and might eventually be replaced, albeit with a heavy heart.

A parent is a one-of-a-kind, once in-a-lifetime formative relationship, never to be repeated. But both will break your heart.

And in this case, there were other commonalities.

Both were very old, very unwell, and it was time, because these things happen whether you’re ready or not.

Both my friends sobbed as their beloved died in their arms.

And that’s where the similarities ended, because you know what? The dog had a better time of it.

The dog was treated with more kindness and compassion. The dog was given an injection and slipped quietly to sleep, then another stilling his dear little heart.

“He went gently,” said his owner after she’d made the decision to euthanise.

“I’m devastated but I’m at peace.”

As for the daughter: “I thought he’d just go to sleep,” she told me.

He was at home, surrounded by family following a long illness. It was meant to be an easing of suffering. It was not.

She sent me long voice notes that felt like trauma therapy and I asked her if she would forgive me for sharing. I hope readers will, too.

“Everyone said it would be peaceful… I envisaged him slip ping away. But, Jesus, Jennie, it was horrific – it was death in its rawest, purest, most vicious manner…”

She hadn’t realised, she said, how “we are programmed to fight to live… and he fought.

“He was in pain… he was hurt ing… his muscles were constrict ing… he was really fighting it… and the death rattle… It didn’t happen quickly; it took about an hour…”

She took a huge breath: “To watch it… I don’t know how I’m going to get over it… It was heart breaking, cos I couldn’t do any- thing. Fu*k [repeated several times]…” Honestly, you wouldn’t treat a dog that way. Where was her dad’s sedation, I wonder, her dad’s final kindness, her dad’s euthanasia, her dad going gentle into the good night? We have the ability, the knowl edge, the drugs. Why are we still arguing about