Hollywood actress Regina Hall recently appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s TV show and asked him: “Sex, love or money; what would you give up?”

He replied: “Money.” She then remarked how interesting that was, because all the women she had asked the same question, had unflinchingly said they would give up sex, while all men asked the same question said they would give up money!

I staged the same question among twenty random Ugandans and fans of this column, and my results were not much different from Hall’s, only that for my case, I had one woman say she would never give up sex… she said she would sooner give up the money.

“We, the Basoga have a saying: ekitalya mbooli nkiwe ki? (what should I feed that which is not sustained by food?) There is no way I would give up sex,” she said, leaving me hooting with laughter.

And of the ten men I asked, there were only two who had initially chosen to give up money, but then said realistically it was easier for them to give up sex and retain money and love.

“Those Americans who say they can give up money have clearly never tasted poverty!” one of the Ugandan men said.

“I love the sex very much, yes. But I also know how badly poverty can affect the quality and quantity of sex, and there is no way I could ever choose to go back to a life of lack, mbu just to retain sex. Nedda nyabo.”

Well, the Americans would possibly quip back that the Ugandan clearly has no idea how miserable a life without sex can be for a man! Search the internet about benefits of having a healthy sex life for a man, and you will see everything from keeping one’s prostate healthy, to improved blood pressure readings and a stronger immune system, among others.

On the other hand, replace men with women in your search engine, and you will see mostly benefits related to mental wellbeing and vaginal health, which can be got from other activities or interventions.

It caused me to laugh; no wonder, the women would not mind going without sex, while for men, sex seems to be a matter of life and death. Now that we know what we know, can you be intentional with your spouse for better harmony?

You know what truly matters to your husband, even when he really loves the money too: sex. You know what makes your wife’s eyes sparkle, even when she enjoys making love with you: money. Meet each other halfway.

Even a highflying, sexually- satisfied wife with a good job and salary, appreciates occasionally being gifted and spoilt by her husband. Likewise, a husband going through financial hardships would appreciate it if his wife did not take the sex off the table, or make it an item to haggle for.

And I hope you now understand why, especially in this part of the world, when a man becomes rich or powerful, his first course of action is to ‘procure’ more sex/ wives for himself; and why, when some women gain independence or money, they can become quite a maze to navigate in order to get some quality, intimate time with them.

Well, the actress’ question may have been hypothetical, but don’t the answers make sense for you? At least all the respondents underscored the fact that everyone needs love of some kind – even when it is not necessarily from a spouse.

caronakazibwe@ gmail.com

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