Man up: Your children are family-shopping

Denying paternity for many children has been normalised in this country, leaving women to fend for themselves and their children. While it takes two to tango, taking responsibility for raising children has in most cases been left to women and, sadly, this trend is also experienced within the confines of a legitimate marriage.

Let me break it down to you deadbeat men. While you assume that you have gotten away with child support and all the monetary connotations, living your lives in a business-as-usual manner is deplorable. Do you ever, for one moment, wonder or consider how that child or children are navigating life without your support or presence? How do you assume the baby mama is managing?

While some children find supporting members of the extended family or able single mothers, the situation is grim for others. They are constantly tossed from household to household, trying to negotiate their situation to find ‘suitable’ families to take them just as they are. No child should be family-shopping in search of love and psychological support just because one parent decided he was too clever to abscond his responsibilities.

Listen, a child will have a real sense of belonging with their parents unless something beyond anybody’s control happens. Otherwise, depending on relatives to raise your children may not always be a good idea. Not everyone is cut out to raise someone else’s child and this is when you deadbeat dads cause immeasurable suffering to children you opted to have. There is nothing like an unwanted pregnancy. Every adult knows the consequences of zipping and unzipping their pants and women should not be blamed as if they get pregnant via Bluetooth.

When a child rebels or is simply navigating life, it is a parent who understands and tolerates them because it is their duty. Relatives will always complain or give excuses for not wanting to stay with a child because there is a reason it is called parenthood. Subjecting children to such rejection at any stage of their upbringing can lead to dire and irreversible consequences in future.

Every time you have sex, be prepared for the consequences and stand up like a man. Stop sponsoring women’s expensive habits or eating like there is no tomorrow when you know you sowed wild oats somewhere and refused to take responsibility. Your children are tossed from home to home and subjected to misery simply because you refuse to man up. Circumstances may not allow us to parent our children as we would want, but when an opportunity permits, grab it by the horns and raise those children. Sometimes all a child needs is a sense of belonging.

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