Chidera Okonji on Why Women Need to Be Intentional About Rest

***Is there an art to rest? Can someone be inactive and still not truly rest? *These are questions Chidera Okonji, better known as Odera Collins, hopes to explore at her upcoming Bloom & Brunch event, themed ‘The Art of Rest.’

A media professional, event host and creative producer with experience spanning radio, television and large-scale productions, Okonji understands how demanding work environments can affect one’s wellbeing. Having experienced firsthand the physical and mental toll of constantly being in motion, she has also observed how often women put themselves last. These experiences inspired her to create Bloom & Brunch as a space where women can pause, connect, reflect, have a good time and simply be.

In this interview with Vanessa Obioha, she explains the idea behind ‘The Art of Rest.’

Ordinarily, one sees rest as just taking a break from work, but the theme of your event suggests otherwise. Does rest really require an art?

Yes, there is. Sadly, due to the current state of the economy, coupled with living in a capitalist world, we have been tasked with a life where we have to keep working/running different streams of income in a bid to measure up to the demands of our society. So what you see is people, in this case women, burying themselves in their business/work. Now, behind this are high-stress conditions, bad eating habits, toxic relationships, etc., which greatly affect the overall balance of women’s lives and health.

I have also seen this personally. I spent over 10 years working in a very demanding environment, and I barely took days off or even a leave. I eventually realised the effect that lifestyle was having on my mental and physical health. That experience, alongside seeing women constantly self-sacrifice and later carry resentment from years of putting themselves last, made me start thinking about how I could contribute differently.

That is part of what inspired Bloom & Brunch. An avenue and a space where women can actually pause, reconnect, talk about the things they are experiencing and learn better ways to prioritise themselves, while having a good time.

Would you say that our culture of constant work and “hustle” has changed our understanding of rest, particularly in a place like Lagos where many people cannot easily step away from their responsibilities?

Oh, definitely. In a way, we have demonised rest. I mean, you hear people say things like, “If you sleep beyond 4/5 a.m., then you are unserious with your life,” and unfortunately, people have become slaves to these types of ideologies.

Speaking about Lagos, we can also see the weight that basic living expenses have put on people, so for some, it’s almost impossible to consider themselves deserving of rest when there is always another bill, responsibility or goal to meet. We have normalised being constantly busy to the point where slowing down can almost feel like failure.

I think that is why we need to start having more honest conversations around rest, and also intentionally curating spaces that allow us to do so. This is more about learning how to create healthier rhythms within the realities of the lives we are living.

What makes rest different from doing nothing? Can someone be physically inactive and still not be truly resting?

You have to be intentional about rest. It’s more mental, in my experience, than it is physical. I mean, you could be physically inactive but have a thousand tabs open in your head. That is not rest. It is in the intentional acts of boundaries, prioritisation, hobbies, etc.

It was something I realised in my last job, which was a high-stress one with tight deadlines, heavy work and intense emotional demands. I mentioned I had spent over 10 years working in demanding environments, so I know what it feels like to be physically present but mentally exhausted.

That is also why, with Bloom & Brunch, we want to create an environment where women can actually pause. We want them to talk, laugh, engage in sensory activities, dress up nice, enjoy good food, connect with other women and simply be present without feeling the need to be productive.

Why do you think rest has to be something people feel they need to justify, earn or even be productive about?

Because of how we have been socialised to think that slowing down is a bad thing, so we go about our lives thinking that taking a break is an abominable thing; meanwhile, an optimised life is one where balance exists.

I think women especially have been conditioned to constantly pour into other people, their work, their families and their responsibilities, while putting themselves last. So even when they finally have an opportunity to rest, there can be this feeling that they should be doing something more productive with that time.

For me, part of the conversation around the Art of Rest is helping women understand that they do not have to wait until they are completely exhausted before they give themselves permission to pause. Rest can be intentional, and it can exist alongside ambition, responsibility and everything else that matters to us.

What makes rest genuinely restorative?

Proper rest helps us recalibrate and moves our nervous system out of that fight-or-flight mode, allowing for better emotional regulation. Doctors have spoken about how it helps with cellular repair and immune system function. In my experience, my health became better when I started resting intentionally. From skin, physical health, to work output, I saw immense improvement.

Bloom & Brunch practically exists to reach more women and show them that intentional living is possible. For this edition, we are creating a curated experience themed ‘Arabian Luxe’ where women can come together, relate to each other’s experiences and hear from experts about the importance of self-prioritisation, rest and the best ways to practise it in the world we currently live in.

Beyond the conversation, we are also curating activities that allow women to engage their senses through wellness activities, laugh, play and reconnect with themselves.

If rest is an art, what are the skills involved in learning it, recognising when we need it, creating the space for it, and resisting the guilt that can come with it?

I think the first skill is self-awareness, being able to recognise when your body and mind are asking you to slow down. Then comes intentionality, setting boundaries, prioritising what truly matters and creating the space to rest without waiting until you are completely burnt out.

You also have to learn to detach your sense of worth from how much you are able to accomplish. Rest is not something you have to earn. It is part of living a balanced life, and learning to rest without guilt involves unlearning the idea that being constantly busy is the same as being productive.

Sometimes, it also means giving yourself permission to simply be. To laugh, enjoy yourself, reconnect with yourself and do things that have no other purpose than making you feel present and alive. I think that is an important part of the art of rest too.