INTENTIONAL ACTION: Let your core values guide you through life’s toughest decisions

Stand up for what you believe in, or sit down and be patient? Embark on a new direction, or stick with what you know? Stay and possibly stagnate, or re-engage and potentially thrive?

When it comes to decision making, especially for choices involving careers and relationships, it can be hard to settle on a choice that feels right. Stakes can seem high, and options can be confounding.

In my coaching practice, I have found that reconnecting clients with their core values is one of the best ways to build clarity and confidence in their next steps. Knowing your values can be beneficial for defining what matters most, and the stronger sense of purpose that follows turns what matters into direction.

The Schwartz theory explains the basic nature of values, and equates them to beliefs that, when activated, become infused with feeling. People for whom independence is an important value, for example, can become inflamed if their independence is threatened, and happy when they are free to enjoy it.

The theory also describes values as a set of standards. The influence of values on daily deliberations may not be apparent until they conflict with a choice or action under consideration. They form an ordered system of priorities that characterise us as individuals, guiding our attitudes and behaviours.

Being clear on values can be a useful approach for identifying desirable goals that motivate action. To identify your key personal values, consider this question: How would I like to live my life going forward?

Then, insert five words that are meaningful to you in this sentence: “I choose to live my life (value 1) and (value 2); with (value 3) and (value 4), always remembering to be (value 5).”

For example: “I choose to live my life calmly and creatively, with discipline and consideration, always remembering to be grateful.”

Or: “I choose to live my life ambitiously and independently, with patience and integrity, always remembering to be tolerant.”

List of values

A list of values can make it easier to narrow the selection to those that resonate most. Time spent crafting this sentence results in a declaration of purpose and intent – a calm centre from which to make decisions and navigate difficulties.

Big life changes can come with pressure and feelings of overwhelm or vulnerability. But rather than trying to forecast exactly how life will play out, it may be more useful to accept that change is coming and focus on the principles that can provide steadiness through it.

When values come first, they can bring purpose into clearer view and create meaning through intentional action in everyday life. Greater certainty about your own approach can help counter the anxiety created by a hard-to-predict future.

One way of doing this is through a meaning-making exercises like completing these three sentences: I would like to be the best that I can be in my work by…; I would like to be the best partner/parent/child/friend (etc.) I can be by…; I would like to be respected/remembered for being…

Making an intentional choice about “ways of being” in each of these areas can help create the mindset to perform positively on your next actions – whether they be experimenting with a new business venture, increasing effectiveness in a workplace, improving the quality of specific relationships or attending to one’s health.

Shifting focus from finding the perfect next action to identifying the values that should guide it can provide you with a steadier sense of purpose and greater agency.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey argues that lasting solutions develop from the inside out.

So the next time you come to a crossroads, consider pausing to realign with your inner compass. Then move forward, knowing that your decision is based more on the clarity that lies at your core. DM

Louise Janovsky is a writer and coach. She publishes a blog on intentional living on her website. Her first book Dream. Decide. Do. is available to purchase at the DM Shop.