Love may be about two people, but the expectations that come with it are rarely that simple. From financial provision and household responsibilities to peace, respect, and emotional support, men and women continue to navigate roles that have shaped relationships for generations.
Against this backdrop, one question has become increasingly common: “What do you bring to the table?”
What Does the Question Mean to Generation Z?
For Gabriel Odame, a recent graduate of the University of Media, Arts and Communication – Institute of Journalism (UniMAC-IJ), the question is straightforward.
“I feel it means, what actually do you offer or bring into a relationship? What can you do to sustain the relationship or help build the relationship?”
Frank Gyabaa, however, believes the question can sometimes carry a gendered undertone.
“I know this question is mostly directed towards women when people debate their importance in a relationship or when they are demanding. Personally, I don’t think there should even be a table. It’s important that you find someone who wouldn’t make you ask for a table or present one,” he said.
What Are Men Expected to Bring?
According to Frank, traditional expectations still place men in the role of providers.
“Traditionally, men are expected to be providers. So mostly financial stuff. But we’re in the modern age; women are also breadwinners. Aside from that, I think it’s important that men are kinder to their wives. It goes a long way,” he said.
Jennifer Agyapongmaa believes expectations should not be determined by gender, but by individual circumstances.
“I don’t think expectations should be based on gender, but rather, capabilities and availability. If a woman is financially stronger than the man, she should be able to help more with the finances.
“If the man is financially stronger, he should help more. If he spends more time at home, he should take on the house chores. If the woman does, she should take on the house chores,” she said.
What Are Women Expected to Bring?
Gabriel believes women have an important role to play in creating peace and maintaining respect within a relationship.
“I think a woman should bring peace. Once a man brings happiness and everything, the woman should also bring peace to the house. Not just peace, but also respect.
“Respect is key. Since he is your partner or your man, you have to respect him no matter what.”
But such expectations can become complicated when qualities such as provision, peace, respect and domestic responsibility are assigned primarily according to gender.
Counsellor at UniMAC-IJ, Godfred Arko Osei, says the focus should gradually move away from rigid gender roles and towards what works for each relationship.
“I believe the focus should gradually move from ‘What should a man do?’ or ‘What should a woman do?’ to ‘What works best for this particular couple?’
He says gender-based expectations can become unhealthy when they become rigid.
“Telling a man that because he is a man he must carry every financial burden can create unnecessary pressure. In the same way, expecting a woman to handle cooking, childcare, and household duties simply because she is a woman can create resentment and exhaustion.”
What are Millenials or Generation X Saying?
Mrs. Rhoda Mintah, a mother of two, sees relationships as partnerships rather than a competition over who contributes more.
“We are partners, especially in raising and managing the home and the children. Where he provides structure, I provide heart. Where he leads, I support, refine, and multiply. We complement each other; we don’t compete,” she said.
She recalled how she and her husband shared responsibilities when their children were younger.
“When the children were much younger, my husband would iron their clothes and bathe them in the mornings while I prepared their breakfast and packed their school lunches and snacks. We complement each other and are partners in raising and managing the home and the children.”
Daniel Amissah shares a similar view. “A woman can bring her unique perspective, emotional depth, warmth, wisdom, and strength. She can contribute to emotional connection, encouragement, and a sense of partnership. But these qualities should not be viewed as exclusively feminine.
“In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to nurture, support, lead, and strengthen each other,” he said.
The question, “What do you bring to the table?” may appear simple, but the answers reveal something deeper about how people understand relationships and gender.
Could There be a Better Question?
“I would replace ‘What do you bring to the table?’ with a more constructive question: ‘What kind of partner do you want to be, and what can we build together?’
“That shifts the conversation from ‘What can I get from you?’ to ‘What can we create together?’ Because a successful relationship is not simply about two people bringing separate things to a table; it is about two people sitting at the same table, communicating, making sacrifices, supporting each other and building something meaningful together.”
