Tim Dowling: I’ve been replaced by a younger model … it’s a relief

My wife has summarily dismissed me from outdoor duties, in favour of ‘Gardening Steve’. Inevitably, there’s a catch

My wife wants to hire someone to put the garden in order. She knows I’ll object, because it’s really something I should be doing, but she also knows I won’t do it. In truth, I’ve lost heart. Two scorching months without rain wreaked havoc on the garden: the lawn turned the colour of a winter sky; seedlings vaporised; established shrubs died. When the rains finally came, the garden bounced back – but by then I didn’t care any more.

As part of her campaign my wife has let it be known that paying someone to fix the garden is no reflection on me, because I’m a businessman with little time to devote to things of the soil.

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