I am fed up with Mr. Ben Ten

BMW,

I am writing as a frustrated baby mama who has finally reached her limit.

The father of my child, whom I shall call Ben T, possesses a rare and extraordinary talent: He is extremely useful and good in bed, but doing absolutely nothing with his life while remaining remarkably confident about it.

BMW, this man has more excuses than a government spokesperson after a power blackout

• When we met, despite enjoying ‘time with him’ I thought he was merely taking time to find his feet. Five years later, he is still searching for those feet. Every business idea collapses before it starts. Every opportunity is somebody else’s fault. Every morning begins with ambitious promises and ends with him borrowing airtime.*

To make matters worse, I hear he is now engaged to another woman. BMW, I am not jealous. I am simply concerned that somebody is about to inherit a full-time dependent ‘sex provider’ disguised as a husband.

How do I completely detach myself from this man and focus on raising my child without carrying his baggage?

Fed Up, Ndirande

Fed Up,

The first step is to stop referring to Ben T as baggage. Baggage eventually reaches a destination.

Your Ben T appears permanently stranded at the departure lounge of life.

You say you spent years hoping he would change. Unfortunately, hope is not an economic development strategy. If it were, Malawi would be competing with Singapore by now.

The truth is painful: some people are in love with success, others are in love with talking about success and a special category is in love with people who will finance their failure.

Your Ben T seems determined to represent that last group.

As for his engagement, do not lose sleep over it. Every election cycle produces fresh voters. Likewise, every Ben T eventually finds a fresh believer.

Focus on your child, your career and your peace of mind. Stop conducting audits on a company from which you have already resigned.

And remember: when a man contributes nothing, but promises, he is not a partner. He is a motivational speaker without a microphone.

BMW

BIG MAN

WAMKULU *NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please! *

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