I Never Wore Trousers as a Deeper Life Girl Until I Moved to the UK

The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than the amazing people on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

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Pelumi (30) moved to the UK in 2021 to study for a master’s degree at the University of Stirling. From adjusting to winter and learning to navigate Scotland to failing her final research module, extending her student visa and eventually graduating a year later, Pelumi says her journey has been one of perseverance, faith and learning to adapt.

Where do you live at the moment and when did you leave Nigeria?

I am currently in the United Kingdom (UK), and I left Nigeria in September 2021.

Why did you leave?

I got a scholarship for my master’s degree in Human Resource Management at the University of Stirling, Scotland.

Have you always planned to leave Nigeria?

No, not at all. I didn’t plan to travel out of the country. After I finished my Higher National Diploma (HND), I felt I couldn’t just be comfortable with having only an HND. I wanted academic advancement. At the time, I was trying to do a conversion programme in Nigeria with my HND.

It was my brother who encouraged me to try applying for a master’s in the UK. At first, I was like, “Is it really possible?” He told me to give it a try because I had finished well with my HND.

I applied to so many universities and got about six rejections before the University of Stirling in Scotland gave me admission.

How did your family react when you got the admission?

They were very happy. They were really proud of me and happy that I was going for my master’s.

Did you have any doubts before leaving Nigeria?

It was a normal feeling to wonder whether I was making the right decision, but I had already prayed about it. I’m someone who takes prayer very seriously and wants to understand what God wants me to do.

Even while applying for the master’s, I prayed that if it was God’s plan for me, everything should work out. When I started getting different rejections, I wasn’t even too bothered. I just thought maybe it wasn’t God’s plan for my life, or maybe it wasn’t my time.

Then, when the time came, things started aligning, and I got the admission.

On the night I was leaving, I was worried because I was only 25 and travelling to a new country alone. I had no friends or siblings going with me. But I knew that if God was taking me there, He would sort everything out for me.

Must have been nice. Was it on a scholarship or did you fund everything by yourself?

It was a scholarship, but not fully funded. I received a 20% scholarship, while my family funded the rest. I was 25 at the time, had just finished my national service, and wasn’t working; I was not married or anything, so there was no way I could have funded it myself. What makes it interesting is that I applied for my master’s with my HND.

You said you applied using your HND. How was that possible?

It was possible. Applying for a master’s degree with an HND usually requires having a Distinction or a strong Upper Credit, a good Cumulative Grade Point Average (CPGA), and a strong personal statement. Also, you will be fine as long as you make sure you are applying for a master’s course that is relevant to the course you studied in your HND. These things can make a big difference when your application is being considered.

You mentioned that getting your master’s was a big deal for your family. Tell me more about your educational journey.

My story is really a long journey of perseverance. My sister went to Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), and my brother went to the University of Abuja, while I was the only one who attended a polytechnic. I went to a polytechnic but became the first person in my family to get a master’s degree.

I didn’t initially plan to have an HND. After my National Diploma (ND), I finished with a 4.0 and was the second-best student in my department. I tried to use direct entry to study Public Administration, but I wasn’t given admission.

My mum would always tell me that God had a plan for my life and that I should trust Him. So when I couldn’t get the direct-entry admission, I returned for my HND and made sure I finished well.

I tried again during my HND and still wasn’t given admission. At that point, I decided to stop chasing it and focus on doing well with my HND.

Then I started looking at other options, including conversion programmes. Eventually, I got the opportunity to apply for a master’s in the UK.

So when I eventually graduated, it meant a lot to me because I knew everything I had gone through to get there.

It was a long journey. A very long journey. For me, it was a journey of perseverance and not giving up. Sometimes when I think about everything, I just thank God.

So, how did you feel when you landed in the UK?

I was happy that I was finally in the UK, but I won’t lie, there were many challenges. There were so many things I needed to adapt to.

Challenges? Like what?

The first challenge for me was dressing. I’m a Deeper Life church girl, so I didn’t wear trousers. I had never worn trousers in my life. Then I arrived in the UK during winter.

I remember one day I went out and eventually had to take a taxi back home because I was struggling with the cold. For about six months, I kept thinking, “No, I will stay true to myself.” But eventually, I had to reconsider some things.

Initially, I would wear leggings underneath my gown or skirt. That was how I managed myself for a while. But I knew I couldn’t continue like that. So, when I started wearing trousers, I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with it. For me, it became a matter of personal conviction. I still believe people should dress modestly and not expose their bodies, but I also believe everything should be done in moderation.

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Did your church have a problem with the changes?

No, they have no problem with it. I still attend Deeper Life church in the UK. I’m married now and have children, but we still attend the church. I didn’t change churches because I moved to the UK.

Why do you think Deeper Life church in the UK has no problem with it?

I think the environment plays a role. The UK is different from Nigeria. I’ve talked about this a lot on Facebook, and people have had plenty to say about it. I also believe it comes down to personal conviction. For instance, you can wear leggings but not trousers, right? But what’s actually the difference between the two?

Also, if you’re a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit, and you should be able to know what is right for you.

I’ve never used attachment before, but I started using it when I got to the UK. People have different opinions about these things, but for me, it’s about personal conviction.

Apart from dressing, what other challenges did you face when you arrived?

Navigation was another major one. In Nigeria, I didn’t really use Google Maps, but in the UK I had to learn quickly.

The first time I went to work, I went to a completely different place. I was stranded and eventually had to go back home.

Food was another issue. At the time, there weren’t as many African shops as there are now. I was a student and didn’t have much money, so I couldn’t afford to keep shipping food from Nigeria. I had to start eating some Scottish food.

How different was the education system from what you were used to in Nigeria?

There were a lot of differences. One of the first things I noticed was that almost everything was done online.

In Nigeria, some assignments are submitted as hard copies, but in the UK, you submit assignments from your laptop. Tests and quizzes are also done online. Basically, everything is on the laptop.

If you’re someone who doesn’t know how to use a laptop or find your way around one, you could struggle a lot. I didn’t struggle too much, but it was still a bit challenging sometimes.

What would you say your biggest challenge as a student in the UK was then?

The biggest challenge came towards the end of my studies when I had to retake my research module. It was the toughest period of my entire life.

Ehn ehn, what happened?

In the UK, when you fail a module, you can be asked to resubmit it again one more time. I got 40 at first, and resubmitted again, and I think I got 44. Then I received an email telling me that I had failed the module again and that my points were no longer enough for my master’s degree.

At that point, I had two options. I could retake the course the following year, or I could accept a postgraduate certificate instead. So, if the points for a master’s is 170 and you got 140, they’ll advise you to collect a certificate instead if you don’t want to retake the course.

It was a very difficult decision because it was also going to affect my visa. If I wanted to retake the course, I would need to extend my student visa and undergo the whole process all over again.

How did that affect you personally?

It was a lot. I was already married at the time, and I was pregnant, so I was dealing with everything at once.

I remember being very discouraged. I told my brother I couldn’t do it and that I would just collect the postgraduate certificate. A lot of people had told me they couldn’t be bothered with the stress and would rather accept the certificate.

But my family encouraged me. They told me to look at how far I had come and apply for the extension so I could retake the course.

So I applied and got a six-month extension on my student visa. I had to get a new letter from the school and apply for another visa.

And you had to retake the module?

I retook it. Even when I was about to submit the work, I was praying because I knew it was my final chance. I kept telling God that if I failed again, that would be the end.

Thankfully, I got 55 and was able to graduate the following year. I didn’t graduate with my mates. I graduated the following year, so it was basically an extra year for me. It was crazy, but I survived it. It was the biggest challenge of my life.

That must have been hard. How did you support yourself financially and emotionally during your studies?

As a student, I could work 20 hours a week, so I worked those hours. It wasn’t easy working as a student while attending classes and doing assignments.

My family paid my school fees, so I mainly had to take care of my accommodation, food, and other small expenses. That gave me some room to work and support myself.

Emotionally, my family and the community I joined in the UK were very helpful.

What was your most memorable experience at university?

That would be my graduation day. I cried so much because I was just so happy that, after everything, I was finally able to graduate. I had gone through the extra year, retaken the module, and eventually passed.

I also had a nice experience at Stirling generally. I never experienced any racism there. The lecturers were always very nice and polite to me, so I enjoyed my stay.

Interesting. So, Stirling was nice; what happened after school?

By the time I graduated, I was already married and had just had my baby, so I wasn’t doing too much professionally. I’m now mainly focused on my family.

I have a blog; I create content, and I write online. I also work part-time because I have two kids, so I can’t work full-time at the moment.

You mentioned your husband. Did you meet him in the UK?

No, I met my husband in Nigeria. Our story is actually quite unusual. We knew each other in Nigeria, but we weren’t friends. We had mutual friends and attended the same secondary school, although I didn’t finish at that school. I left after JSS and went to Government College, so we only spent about one or two years in the same school.

We reconnected online and started a relationship. I came back to Nigeria for our wedding in March 2023. He was still in Nigeria at the time, so after the wedding, he applied for his visa and joined me in the UK two months later. A lot of people told me I was crazy and that I didn’t know what I was doing. But I thank God I’m not crazy.

Wow. So, how has life been for you as a Nigerian family in Scotland?

Life is good. You just have to adjust. Since I’m living in Scotland and don’t have plans to relocate back anytime soon, I have to adjust to the way things are done here. You have to follow the rules and regulations and do things the right way.

Raising children here also means understanding what is acceptable and what isn’t. There are things that people might consider normal in Nigeria that are taken very seriously here. For me, the key is setting your priorities right, surrounding yourself with people who genuinely encourage you, and having a good community.

My church in Glasgow has helped me a lot. Even when I was having issues at school, they encouraged me and supported me. Having the right community is very important. And for me, there is also the God factor. I don’t think you can raise a family without God. It’s a major part of my life.

What has been your biggest culture shock in the UK?

The politeness. Even when I first arrived, I noticed that people would say thank you to bus drivers. I was like, “Are they not doing their work? Are they not collecting money?”

But when you’re getting down from the bus, you say thank you. Adults say it. Children say it. You just say thank you.

People are also very respectful in the way they speak to one another. Even if a lecturer is talking to you, there is a certain level of respect. Giving people respect is a big deal here.

Is there anything about the way things work in the UK that you wish Nigeria could adopt?

I would say law enforcement and the implementation of rules. In Nigeria, they can make rules, but implementing them is often the problem. Here, they investigate things properly before making decisions, and people generally follow the rules.

Even something as simple as crossing the road is different. You wait for the traffic light to turn green before crossing. People queue without needing security or police officers to tell them to line up.

Driving is another example. My friend recently told me she was taking her practical driving test for the fifth time. Some people don’t pass until their tenth attempt. It is not easy, but once you pass, you know you have to follow the rules when you drive.

Everything is just orderly. People follow the rules and regulations, and I think that is something that could help Nigeria.

You mentioned that you don’t have plans to return to Nigeria anytime soon. Does that mean you’re staying in the UK permanently?

I never said I don’t have plans to return o. I said that since I’m living here, I don’t have plans to relocate back anytime soon.

If, in the next 10 years, God tells me to go back, I’ll pack my bags and go. My life is based on what God tells me to do. Whether I’m in Canada or Nigeria, I believe God’s blessing will reach me.

What’s one of your convictions that God is the ultimate planner?

When I was preparing to travel, I had other plans. I had already gotten admission to Cotonou in Benin to study for a BSc and had started before I got the master’s admission in the UK. So if I hadn’t gotten the UK admission, I would still have been doing great things for myself in Benin or Nigeria.

Wow, why did you choose the UK master’s instead of continuing with the BSc in Cotonou?

Getting a master’s with an HND was a big deal to me. You know how HND holders are treated in Nigeria. I had tried several times to get admission through direct entry for a BSc. I wasn’t given admission.

Even when I finished my ND with a 4.0 and was one of the best students in my department, I couldn’t get the direct-entry admission I wanted. Someone I encouraged to apply had a lower grade and got admission, but I didn’t. So I returned to the polytechnic for my HND and made sure I finished well.

I also tried direct entry again during my HND and still wasn’t given admission. Eventually, I decided to focus on finishing my HND well and looking for other opportunities.

I applied for conversion programmes in different places and even got admission somewhere in Nigeria. I had started making payments and preparing to go before I eventually got the UK admission.

What would you say to Nigerians with HNDs who feel limited by their qualifications?

Don’t limit yourself. If you finish with a good grade, whether distinction or upper credit, build yourself. Attend conferences, go to meetings, network, and look for opportunities.

There are many opportunities out there. Even if you don’t want to get a BSc or postgraduate degree, you can still do great things with an HND.

I know people who have done amazing things with their HNDs. One woman I know studied at a polytechnic in Lagos and later travelled abroad. She recently got her BSc. in Cyprus, but even before that, she had already achieved a lot.

So I encourage people not to limit themselves.

Do you still keep in touch with your friends in Nigeria?

Yes, but only a few of them. A lot of my friends are now in the UK too. I’m also a very busy woman. I work part-time, I have a blog, I create content, I write on Facebook, and I have two children. So I don’t have as much time as I used to, but I still have a few friends in Nigeria that I chat with.

How would you rate your experience in the UK so far?

I’d say eight out of ten. The UK has generally been nice to my family and me. As I said, I have a good community here; people are generally nice, and things work better here.

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