Sexual abuse: Stop putting the burden on girls; teach boys respect — Advocate

A survivor of sexual abuse has called for a shift in how society tackles sexual violence, urging families to teach boys and men to respect others rather than placing the burden of preventing abuse largely on girls.

Amtu Akumfi-Ameyaw, co-founder of On This Side, said persistent warnings to girls about their clothing, movements and social interactions would do little to address sexual abuse if equal attention was not given to educating boys about boundaries, respect and responsible behaviour.

She made the call on Joy News’ PM Express on Monday, October 19, while reacting to developments in the allegations of sexual abuse involving female students at Obuasi Senior High Technical School (SHTS).

The allegations are the subject of Manasseh Azure Awuni’s documentary, Inside the Dreaded Headmaster’s Bungalow. It examines alleged sexual abuse involving female students at Obuasi Senior High Technical School.

Click here to Watch the documentary.

“We continue to ask and dictate how girls should keep themselves. Oh, don’t do this. Don’t go here. Don’t engage with this person. Don’t wear these clothes,” she said.

“And we forget that we also have to socialise our men and our boys to be better and responsible human beings of society.”

Her comments come amid public concern over allegations involving the school’s headmaster, Zakaria Abdulai. The allegations have prompted renewed discussion about how sexual abuse is prevented, reported and addressed, particularly in institutions entrusted with the care of young people.

Rethink the responsibility

Ms Akumfi-Ameyaw said society needed to examine why girls were routinely told to take precautions against abuse while comparatively less emphasis was placed on ensuring that boys understood the importance of respecting other people’s boundaries.

She argued that the approach risked placing responsibility on potential victims while failing to confront the conduct of those who perpetrate abuse.

For her, efforts to prevent sexual violence must go beyond instructing girls on how to protect themselves and include deliberate efforts by families and communities to raise boys who understand consent, personal boundaries and accountability.

She said the persistence of abuse despite repeated warnings to girls raised questions about whether enough was being done to address the behaviour of perpetrators.

Respect starts at home

The advocate also challenged families that placed considerable importance on having male children to carry on the family name or serve as heirs, but did not give equal attention to teaching them respect for others.

“We have to take it seriously,” she said. “We can’t be having families desire to have male kids to become heirs, but we don’t care about teaching them basic things of respect.”

She said the prevention of sexual abuse required a broader change in attitudes, with parents, schools and communities taking responsibility for instilling appropriate values in boys from an early age.

Ms Akumfi-Ameyaw acknowledged that men and boys could also be victims of abuse, although she noted that women were disproportionately affected, according to data from around the world.

She said the experiences of all survivors needed to be recognised, while prevention efforts must respond to the patterns of abuse reflected in the available evidence.

Ms Akumfi-Ameyaw said survivors often faced difficult emotions, including guilt and disappointment, and could struggle to speak about their experiences when they feared they would not be believed or supported.

She called for society to take sexual abuse seriously rather than trivialising allegations or placing the responsibility for preventing abuse solely on those who may become victims.