This is heavy for me- Bishop Kasaro

MATSAPHA – “This is heavy for me,” Bishop Robert Kasaro said during his wife Princess Lindiwe’s memorial service yesterday.

The service was held at Jesus Calls Worship Centre (JCWC) in Matsapha, where thousands of people gathered to share fond memories of the minister.

Bishop Kasaro said he kept asking himself how he would carry on in the ministry without his wife, explaining that they had travelled across the world together for the work of the ministry and that this was why his pain was so deep.

Mourners came from as far as Israel, Ghana and Zambia, while video messages of condolence were received from speakers in Europe, the UK, Asia and other parts of the world.

Prophetess Nomusa Dhlomo, an award-winning gospel recording artist and philanthropist, was also present and performed an uplifting worship song.

Meanwhile, Bishop Kasaro, the founder of JC, thanked God for giving him the opportunity to sit beside his wife’s hospital bed during her final days. He said he sometimes sat there for hours, watching her even on days when she did not talk much. He said the pain of separation was too deep, disclosing that there was a void in his heart and that he missed her and wept for her at night.

The bishop said whenever he looked at their children, his heart broke again because life without her would never be the same.

Paying tribute to the woman he described as his sweetheart, the man of God said she was not only his wife, but also his best friend, companion, intercessor, encourager and the love of his life. He said they shared a deep connection and she was the one person who truly understood him—someone who would look at him and know when he was in pain, even when he pretended that everything was all right.

He said one of the things he would always remember about her was the way she cared for people. Anyone who entered their home would be asked whether they had eaten. He said she cared for him in the same way. Even when she was rushing and already late for meetings, she would first ensure that he had something to eat. He would sometimes tell her not to worry because he would sort himself out, but she would insist that it was her responsibility as his wife to ensure he was comfortable. He further recalled that whenever she brought him food, she would kneel as she gave it to him. No matter how much he protested that it was unnecessary, she would simply say she was doing it for her husband.

Bishop Kasaro said his wife loved being his wife and loved their family deeply, having raised their three children very well and taught them respect. He said the princess was particularly intentional about teaching them to respect their father. He said whenever the children wanted something from her, she would tell them first to hear what he had to say. Sometimes, they would come to him and plead with him to speak to her because she listened only to him, not to the children.

The man of God further revealed that, because of the woman she was and the way she loved, supported, respected and accepted him, he decided in 2014 to honour her by paying her dowry. He said she had advised him not to rush, but he was grateful that he had gone ahead because it allowed him to honour her and their marriage, and to express how precious she was to him while she was still alive. He said it was also his privilege to honour Their Majesties.

He thanked Their Majesties for entrusting such an extraordinary woman to him. He said perhaps they thought they were simply giving him their daughter when, in fact, they were giving him a dynamite of a woman—a woman who transformed his life, strengthened his calling, stood beside him in prayer and became one of the greatest catalysts for the ministry. He said so much of what he and the ministry became bore evidence of her presence, adding that she did not merely marry him, but also helped build him.

The bishop said his wife was very protective of him and always wanted to be wherever he was. He narrated that there were times the couple attended official functions where she had an official vehicle available to take her home, yet after the function she would leave that vehicle and squeeze herself into his humble car.

He said he would plead with her to use the official car, but her answer was always simple: “I want to be where my husband is.” He said those words meant something very different to him now and he wished he could hear her say them once more.

He said they enjoyed life together as they talked together, laughed together, travelled together and danced together since the princess loved dancing.

In fact, she taught him how to dance. He recalled that she would often call him into her bedroom. Because of the way she called him, he would think there was something important she wanted to discuss, only to find her saying: “Come, let us dance together. I love this song.” The bishop, who is also President of the Eswatini Conference of Churches, said he would resist at first, but eventually learnt to dance with her.

He said those little moments brought so much joy into their marriage.

Even the way they hugged was different, he said. Whenever he gave her what he considered a respectable church hug, she would immediately rebuke him, saying she was not one of the brethren but his wife. He said she wanted to be loved fully and loved fully in return.

Perhaps one of the greatest things she gave the family, the bishop said, was prayer because she believed deeply in family order. He said that no matter how tired she was after work, she would ask him to maintain the family’s prayer routine.

He said she loved fasting and taught the entire family to fast for extended periods. Bishop Kasaro said the princess was so serious about seeking God that, during those sessions, she would instruct the helpers not to cook anything because the family was seeking the face of God. He said prayer was not something she did occasionally; it was her life and heartbeat. He recalled how every Thursday she would announce that she was rushing to the national church for prayer.

The man of God said she always pushed for more days of prayer, even in church. He said he watched her spend hours before God, sometimes weeping as she stood in the gap for him, their children, the church and the nation. She never forgot to pray for Their Majesties. He said she was his intercessor and that the gap she had left in the realm of prayer was too large.

Bishop Kasaro said the couple travelled through different states in America, through Europe, the United Kingdom, Singapore, Malaysia, South Korea, Australia, Panama, Colombia, Ethiopia and across Africa.

Wherever they went, he said, she remained the same woman. When people wanted to introduce her as a princess, she would simply ask that they be told her name was Lindiwe because titles meant very little to her. He said she never sought attention in church, always telling him she had no business seeking attention because she was there to support him. He said he had never seen such humility: She stood quietly beside him, yet her contribution to his life and ministry was immeasurable.

He said his wife loved the anointing and the supernatural. He pointed out that she would not endorse a ministry that had no evidence of prayer behind it. He recalled that sometimes, when somebody finished singing or preaching, she would quickly remark that the person had not prayed. When he asked how she knew, she would answer: “There was no anointing that I could sense.” He said she was very particular about the presence and anointing of God.

The bishop further said she pushed him to grow the ministry and encouraged him to remain focused, particularly when people misunderstood him. She assured him: “Don’t worry, just stay focused. God is with you. No one can take away your anointing and calling.” He said she never frustrated him in the ministry—not once. He added that she loved the church, showed no partiality and simply wanted to advance the work of God.

Bishop Kasaro said his wife loved to see him happy. He described her as a strong pillar in his ministry and, beyond the ministry, as his sweetheart, best friend and wife.

He said he was content simply to be next to her. He held her hand, told her he needed her and, whenever he left the hospital, said he loved her, to which she responded: “I love you more.” He said those words remained with him, adding that while she was in hospital, he did not realise that perhaps she was bidding him farewell. Had he known, he would have sung louder and more cheerfully to create an atmosphere of worship.

Bishop Kasaro said he missed her affection, smile, voice and having somebody beside him who understood him without requiring an explanation. He said he missed his intercessor, travelling companion, dancing partner, friend and wife.

He said he felt alone, helpless, very lonely and broken, with a deep pain inside him that words could not properly describe.

He said, however, that he knew she was in a better place and that he could not blame God because he could not begin to fathom His ways. He thanked God for giving her to him and further thanked Him “for every year, every journey, every prayer, every meal, every conversation, every laugh, every dance, every embrace and every moment they shared”.

He reflected that, had he understood that some of those ordinary moments would one day become his most precious memories, perhaps he would have held her a little longer. He added that, if he could hug her one more time, he would not give her the church hugs she always rebuked.

He remembered her saying that she was not one of the brethren but his wife and should be hugged properly, adding that this time he would hold her properly. The bishop bade his beloved farewell: “Sleep well, my beloved one. I shall see you in the morning.”

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