Album of losers’ faces

At the Los Angeles Olympic Games in 1984, there were hundreds of photographers in the stadium all of whom scrambled to capture the faces of event winners. But there was one photographer who, alone, decided so concentrate on capturing the faces of those who finished last in any event. When the Games ended, photographers offered for sale thousands of albums about winners, but this man offered for sale the only album that captured the faces of losers. It sold like hot cakes.

On Thursday last week, October 1, all our leaders concentrated on counting the gains that Nigeria has recorded in 66 years of national independence. Like that LA photographer, I however decided to make a shortlist of the many things that we have lost as nation in the last three or four decades that I can remember.

For one, we have since lost all our coins and small denomination naira notes. Even though Central Bank of Nigeria says they are still legal tender, I have not seen a one, five, ten or 20 kobo coin with my eyes for nearly two decades now. When last did anyone see the N5 Tafawa Balewa, the N10 Herbert Macaulay, the N20 Muri or the N50 Wazobia notes? Even the N100 Awo, the N200 Sardauna and the N500 Zik notes are rare these days. The only one still visible is what President Obasanjo said Abeokuta market women call “the one with two heads,” of former CBN governors Aliyu Modibbo Mai Bornu and Dr. Clement Isong.

In our primary school days, we used to play “rounder,” a modified form of baseball brought here by American Peace Corps volunteers in the 1960s. Where is rounder today? National Sports Commission, where is Benin’s annual Ogbe Hard Court lawn tennis tournament; where is the Kaduna Clay Court; the Milo International Marathon race; Obudu International Mountain race? Where are the Academicals? Where are the replacements for Haruna Ilerika, Sam Garba Okoye, Sule Kekere and the legendary goalkeeper Inuwa Rigogo?

Where are all our great football clubs Enugu Rangers, Ibadan’s IICC Shooting Stars, Benin’s Bendel Insurance, Mighty Jets of Jos, Stationery Stores of Lagos, NEPA, P&T Vasco da Gama of Lagos, Bauchi Wunti, El Kanemi Warriors of Maiduguri, BCC Lions of Gboko, Alyufsalam Rocks of Ilorin, Port Harcourt Red Devils, Abiola Babes of Abeokuta, Ranchers Bees of Kaduna, Zamtex of Gusau, Sahara Storms of Sokoto, Iwuanyanwu Nationale of Owerri, Kano Pillars or Niger Tornadoes of Minna?

When last did we stage the Ghana-Nigeria Games? Generals Chris Musa and Waidi Shaibu, where is the Nigerian Army’s West African Social Activities [WASA] tournament? My sister the Minister of Culture, where is Argungu Fishing Festival, Argungu Safari Rally, Zuru’s Uhola Festival, annual Ifa festival, Kagoro’s Afan festival or Calabar Carnival?

I have not seen a great supermarket in Nigeria recently akin to Kingsway, K Chellarams, UTC, Bhojsons,Leventis or the great shoe store Bata. Where is the old leather firm Amburzin,which once scooped up all the hides and skins from our abattoirs?Before the coming of GSM, where are the firms that installed all our phone lines, D’Alberto and Bogialla, D’Alberto and Giampoli, Cappa & D’Alberto, and MKO Abiola’s ITT?

Even though in Nigeria today we still have construction companies such as Julius Berger, Sterling Astaldi, Strabag, Setraco, Dantata and Sawoe and Impresit Bakolori, but where is Daral Handsah, Biwater Shellabear, Taylor Woodrow and Chiyoda? In 1980, after the Japanese firm Chiyoda finished constructing the Kaduna Refinery, it placed an advert in Newsweek magazine saying, “Chiyoda has just built Nigeria’s third and largest refinery in Kaduna. To do so, it had to move 600,000 tonnes of material from Lagos port to Kaduna in central Nigeria. We had to widen many roads and lift several power and telephone cables in advance… and we finished the project ahead of schedule.” In Nigeria today, who has ever finished a project ahead of schedule? Is it Mambilla power project, which has been under construction for 40 years?

Our trade unionists, where are our once great labour unions such as Nigeria Union of Railway Workers [of Pascal Bafyau] or Dockworkers Union of Nigeria [of Haruna Agbonikhana]? Who replaced Labour Leader Number One Pa Michael Imoudu, Wahab Goodluck, Yunusa Kaltungo, Hassan Sunmonu and Adams Oshiomhole?

Nigerian roads once sported a dazzling array of vehicles of all hues, from every country that made vehicles. Most of them have long since disappeared, such as Mercedes 911 Man Diesel, Austin, Morris, Volvo, Opel Record, Ford Taunus, Lada, Moskovich, Citroen, Landrover, Fiat Mirafiori, Fiat Compagnola, Fiat Climatizatta, Volkswagen Beetle, Volkswagen Santana, Volkswagen Igala and Holden of Australia.

Under the 2nd National Development Plan [1970-74], General Gowon established a string of vehicle assembly plants including Volkswagen in Lagos, Peugeot Automobile in Kaduna, Leyland in Ibadan, Mercedes ANAMCO in Enugu, Fiat Allis Trucks in Kano and Steyr in Bauchi. They are either vanished today or they are shadows of their former selves. Look, where are the vehicle service companies SCOA, UTC and J Allen’s? Did they run away because, at the height of the 1973-74 drought, New Nigerian Newspaper embarrassed them with a story headline: “Drought relief appeal fund: J Allen gives N20”?

Why is our government no longer launching grand schemes with catchy titles? Such as, Indigenization Program, Universal Free Primary Education [UPE], Health for All by the Year 2000, Operation Feed the Nation [OFN], Jaji Declaration, Green Revolution, Ethical Revolution, Austerity Measures, Debt Equity Swap, Trade by Barter, Imo Formula, Local Sourcing of Raw Materials, Structural Adjustment Program [SAP], Second-tier Foreign Exchange Market [SFEM] and Right Sizing the Civil Service?

I cannot remember when last our government did anything that is very pleasing to Nigerians. Such as, General Gowon’s “Adebo” salary increase of 1972; the much heftier “Udoji” salary increase of 1974; Gowon abolishing the cattle tax Jangali in 1974; Kano State governor Rimi and his Kaduna State PRP mate Balarabe Musa abolishing poll tax on October 1, 1979; IBB/Olikoye Ransome-Kuti’s Oral Rehydration Therapy [ORT] and Expanded Program on Immunisation [EPI] of the 1980s; Maryam Babangida’s Better Life for Rural Women; or even, General IBB distributing thousands of brand-new “IBB Spirit” Peugeot cars to military officers in 1993, probably to avert another Okar-style coup attempt.

In Nigeria these days, we are even short of great armed robbers such as Dr. Oyenusi, Lawrence Anini, Monday Osunbor and Flog Them All. Our criminals of today, such as Billionaire Kidnapper Evans, bandit kingpins Dogo Gide, Bello Turji and Gwaska Dankarami; secessionists such as Nnamdi Kanu and Simon Ekpa, and Boko Haram leaders Abubakar Shekau and Al-Barnawi are no match for the olden ones. There is no criminal match today for Muhammadu Marwa Maitatsine, who serially sacked Kano’s Yan Awaki quarters, Maiduguri’s Bulunkutu ward, Kaduna’s Tudun Wada, Yola, Gombe and Funtua.

Nigerian laws of today, such as Petroleum Industry Act, Electoral Acts, and No Work, No Pay Act or restoring the old National Anthem are all bland instruments. There are no more Draconian laws in Nigeria that send the fear of God into criminals’ hearts. Such as, General Gowon’sRobbery and Firearms [Special Provisions] Decree of 1970, Buhari’s State Security [Detention of Persons] Decree 2 of 1984, Recovery of Public Property [Special Military Tribunals] Decree 8 of 1984, Public Officers [Protection Against False Accusation] Decree 4 of 1984; Miscellaneous Offences Decree 20 of 1984 and Abacha’s Failed Banks *[Recovery of Debts and Financial Malpractices in Banks] *decree of 1994.

Thirty years ago, the open space landmark Tinubu Square, located on Broad Street, Lagos Island, which was earlier known as Independence Square, was mentioned almost every day in the newspapers. The Square was the melting point of different cultures, a place where indigenous Lagosians, people of Brazilian extraction as well as British administrators all melted. If you mention Tinubu Square today, young lads would think it is named after President Bola Tinubu. Not at all; it was named after Madam Efunroye Tinubu, described by Google as “19th Century Yoruba slave trader, merchant and aristocrat.”

Not only Tinubu Square; do we hear much these days of Ahmadu Bello Stadium, Kaduna; National Stadium, Surulere; Kofar Mata Stadium, Kano; Liberty Stadium and Lekan Salami Stadium, Ibadan; Festac Town; Gidan Makama, Kano; Calabar’s Hope Waddell Training Institution or even Christ the King College, Onitsha?

Even the newspapers that once told all the Nigerian stories are severely diminished today, either disappeared altogether or are shadows of their former selves. Daily Times, New Nigerian, Nigerian Observer, Daily Sketch, Lagos Weekend, Sadness and Joy, Spear, DRUM magazine, National Concord, Post Express, The Tide of Port Harcourt, Statesman of Owerri, Herald of Ilorin, The Voice of Makurdi, Standard of Jos, Triumph of Kano, Sokoto’s The Path, Kebbi’s Equity, Democrat and Reporter both of Kaduna, Daily Star of Enugu, Nigerian Chronicle of Calabar, Champion of Lagos, Newswatch, Tell [which once boasted that “Some people watch the news. We tell it], TSM, The Source, Classique, The News, Tempo, The Week, This Week and The Comet, are mostly vanished or are shadows of their former selves.

Don’t mind the government’s long list of achievements. Only folks like me are still around to compile an Album of the races that Nigeria lost in 66 years of Independence.