Love Life: I Said I Wanted to Meet Her Dad in My First DM

Love Life* is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between**.*

---

Maleek (Late 20s) and Fridaus (Mid 20s) met through a mutual friend in August 2025.

On this week’s Love Life, they talk about a first DM that included his intention to meet her dad, a relationship “onboarding” session with notebooks and pens, and getting married six months later before she moved abroad for her master’s.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

---

What’s your earliest memory of each other?

Maleek: August 2025. A mutual friend called me and said she had a friend who’d be a perfect match for me. She sent me Fridaus’s Instagram page, and I stayed on it for the next five to ten minutes. I kept asking myself, “Where has this one been?” Then I went straight into her DMs, introduced myself and we started talking from that day.

Fridaus: My earliest memory of Maleek goes back further. I’d watched Maleek’s content on social media for years. I remember one particular post he’d made about how a lot of people often mispronounce and spoil Muslim names. The video went viral, and many Muslims, including myself, could relate to it. I think I followed his account after that video; I really liked his sense of humour. At the time, I also kept a list of my celebrity crushes, and I’d always tell my friends he was number one or number three, depending on the week. It was a running joke, but I did think he was cute. Then the DM happened.

Let’s talk about that.

Fridaus: I had just gotten home from work when it came in. He was the last person I expected to get a message from, so I didn’t know how to act for a few minutes. I eventually told my friends that he had just DMed me, and all four of us gathered in my room and read the message together. When I typed a reply, they were like, “No, don’t say that, say this.” It was so hilarious because we analysed every word in that reply. In the end, we agreed that I should keep it casual. I said, “Hey, I’m fine,” and the conversation flowed from there. He even made a joke about meeting my dad from that first day.

Maleek: It was easier to converse because my friend had already told me about Fridaus, so I decided to be direct. I said hi, asked how she was doing, and told her I’d have typed the usual “I stumbled on your page,” but that would be a lie. I said God probably directed me there, that I wanted a conversation, and that if it went well, maybe someday I’d meet her daddy.

We chatted on Instagram for about 30 minutes, and I asked for her number. She gave it to me after a little persuasion.

Fridaus: I wouldn’t say he had to do a lot of persuasion, though. I also like to be direct. When I’m ready to give something a try, I don’t waste time. His little pitch was convincing, so I wanted him to have my number. We spoke on the phone for hours that night.

Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action

Zikoko DailyShipsMoney by ZikokoHer

Seems you guys got on to business pretty fast. How did things progress over the next few days?

Maleek: Our first phone conversation went so well that I could tell we clicked. I figured we were both intentional people with a clear eye for what we wanted. I also joke a lot, and I need the person I’m talking to to get my jokes, and Fridaus did.

But after what we both knew was a good conversation, I didn’t follow up the next morning.

Fridaus: Radio silence was crazy to me. He could have sent a “good morning” and left it there. Then I started wondering if I’d blown our conversation out of proportion and it only went as well as I thought in my head. But I also didn’t want to text first.

In Nigeria, a woman walks a thin line between being upfront and being pushy. So I told myself, “Leave this man alone.” Then he eventually texted me around 3:30 p.m. after Jumat service, and I thought, “Can you imagine?”

Maleek: To be fair, I didn’t want to look desperate or like I was love bombing. I didn’t know that was a problem.

By the third day, though, I wanted to meet her, since we both live in Lagos. She’d told me she was going to her parents’ house for the weekend, so I asked when she’d be back. She said Sunday. I asked if she could leave early so we could see each other, and she asked, “Is this you asking me on a date?” I said yes.

Curious, Fridaus. Did you have any concerns about his social media popularity during this time?

Fridaus: A bit. But our mutual friend who introduced us told me he’s a gentleman who doesn’t entertain women. My mum also had her own opinion of Maleek, especially when she learnt about his line of work. When I told her I was going on a date with him, she said, “Ah, you want to follow influencer?” Those words stayed in my head and stirred questions that I hadn’t even considered asking before. I asked him about exes and whether he still kept in touch with anyone, and his answers were reassuring.

Maleek: One funny thing is how she also asked about my genotype on the second day of talking. Nobody asks that unless they’re serious, so I thought, “She’s as serious as I am.”

Got it. Let’s talk about the first date. How did that go?

Fridaus: I called my friends and sisters on video to pick an outfit. On Sunday, when he texted that he’d arrived, my stomach was moving. I thought, “Why am I going out with a stranger I met on the internet?” My friend did my makeup, and we fought because I didn’t like the eyeshadow. But that was just the nerves talking. I remember walking to his car so slowly, because part of me wanted to go back inside and cancel the entire thing. But I pressed on until I settled inside his car. It was a short drive, but we barely had any conversation. I was definitely shy; I don’t know if he’d admit he felt the same way.

Maleek: I wasn’t shy. I was in awe from the moment I saw her walking towards the car ever so majestically. When she got into the car, she smelled so nice, and I think I was mostly taking it all in. Her presence, her beauty and the fact that this was happening.

Fridaus: We eventually got to the restaurant in VI, and it was a really beautiful spot that was surprisingly almost empty on a Sunday evening. A couple left within minutes of our arrival, so it was just the two of us.

Maleek told jokes, I laughed, and my cheeks hurt from smiling. Singers came to our table and sang love songs. We could see the sun setting from our seats.

Maleek: It felt like a scene from a romcom movie. We even danced to one of those songs at our wedding, because it held that much significance. After dinner, we went to a movie premiere I had to cover for work. Every part of that day just felt perfect, and I think it was the sign I needed to commit fully.

Sweet. And how did things progress?

Maleek: We went on a couple more dates. I go to a comedy club every Wednesday night to calm my nerves, so I always took her along. I can’t remember if I asked before or after one of the shows, but I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes.

Fridaus: Maleek has actually missed a few things. So two weeks after the first date, we’d attended previous comedy night shows, and it had become a midweek ritual for us. He asked me out on our third time at the comedy club. He’d picked me up from my office that day. We had a good time and ate something there. Then, in the car on the way home, he said, “Before I take you home, I want to talk to you.”

He explained that he didn’t want to be too forward, and that if I wanted to take things slower, that was fine, but he needed to say it for his own peace of mind. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. We shared a hug, and he drove me home.

Nice. Let’s talk about the early days of the relationship. What were they like?

Fridaus: Butterflies and rainbows. We went everywhere together. The weekend after we became official, we went to a park for a picnic. He doesn’t like sitting on the floor, so we sat on a bench. That date was a sort of onboarding session. I brought books and pens, and I put the topics in blocks. We talked about his goals, his three-year and five-year plans, how much we each earn, our families, whether there are any illnesses in the family, and what we expected from each other. I saved the conversation about no sex before marriage and the one about finances for the end, because I wondered if bringing them up was too much.

Maleek: I’d never seen anything like it. My wife is a corporate person, so she brought a template to how we operated. But it helped us move fast, because we knew what each of us wanted.

We both believed in no sex before marriage, and we wanted to know each other outside of intimacy. We agreed we wouldn’t have kids early. We both had two- or three-year plans, and agreed that kids are expensive. We agreed it was important to learn how to be husband and wife before we became daddy and mummy. There were other things we talked about, but they’re personal.

The early days were perfect. We saw each other almost every day, went on movie dates, and travelled out of Lagos.

Fridaus: A lot of what we planned didn’t go according to plan. But we set our goals early, so even when we dropped some things along the way, we still hit those goals together.

Maleek: But we also noticed things about each other, and we had our first fights.

What did you notice about each other?

Maleek: Fridaus is a planner while I live on vibes. She wants to finish her work before the next day, even if that means staying past 6 p.m. There’re times I almost have to force her to close her laptop.

Also, because she’s a thorough planner, when things don’t go as planned, she takes it way too seriously. I’d tell her it wasn’t that deep, and we could consider our next options, but she never liked that. We fought about that a lot, until we eventually had to find a middle ground. I’m also very disorganised; I think that’s something she’ll definitely mention.

Fridaus: He makes me sound like I have OCD, and I don’t. I just think everything should have a home. The first time I visited his house, he kept hiding his room from me. He’s done a good job of getting his siblings to put the living room in order; he had no idea that I’d ask to enter his room. When I got in, it was a complete mess. I genuinely asked myself how he could sleep there. His disorderliness is something we’ve struggled with a lot.

I also noticed that Maleek wasn’t the best gifter. He doesn’t spontaneously buy me things or order lunch for me at work. I’m a Nigerian girl; these things count for us. I, on the other hand, buy him things even without asking. I knew I’d hold it against him if I stayed quiet, so I told him.

Maleek: I didn’t grow up seeing my parents buy each other gifts, so it wasn’t in my dictionary. I just assumed sending money was enough, but Fridaus cared about the thought behind it, and she was honest about how she felt.

These days, I set a reminder for when I get paid, so I can set aside money for her gift. I’m getting used to it.

Fridaus had earlier mentioned her mum’s concerns about your online fame. How did you both decide how much of the relationship to share online?

Maleek: I have thick skin when it comes to social media, but I didn’t know if Fridaus could handle it. I’d have been fine keeping our relationship offline, but I asked what she thought. So we agreed to take things slowly. We started posting photos of us on dates without showing her face, and people had their guesses. Some people insisted she was one of my mutuals.

After we got engaged, we revisited the conversation and agreed on how we wanted to soft-launch her identity. I told her that if I tagged her, her phone would scatter with notifications, so she should make her page private first. When I posted the engagement photo, she got about 5,000 follow requests in one day.

Fridaus: I was overwhelmed. I barely put myself out there. But when Maleek explained how brand deals work and how social media is a career for him, I found it interesting. I decided that if I already had this huge following, I should make something of it. We never sat down to decide that I’d become an influencer. It just happened.

Speaking of your engagement, when did the marriage conversation come up?

Maleek: Around the fourth or fifth month, but I’d known earlier that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Fridaus. After the relationship onboarding we had months ago, I met her family and her sisters, and I saw everything I’d always imagined in a wife. I started calling her my wife in the second month, and she’d laugh it off. But I was serious and knew what I wanted.

We planned to do a nikah first and have the wedding in two years. But things moved faster than we’d intended.

Fridaus: Actually, my plans moved up. I’d wanted to work for two years before my master’s, but my job was becoming overwhelming and I needed a breather. I applied to schools hoping I’d get a scholarship. Lo and behold, that was exactly what happened.

When I got the scholarship, I told Maleek I wanted to take the opportunity. But I was also deeply in love, and I didn’t want our love to hang in the air while I was abroad. We’d built something serious in a short while, and I couldn’t imagine throwing it all away. At that point, we knew everything about each other and had met each other’s families. Marriage felt like the natural next step.

Maleek: We wanted a small nikah around February, but our parents said no. They wanted a meeting first, and they asked why we were rushing. They also wanted a big party, and we wanted around 100 guests. They needed to approve of both of us. In the end, we got married in April 2026.

Nice. So, did you guys transition to long-distance immediately?

Maleek: We lived together for about four or five months. Then she left for Canada, and I almost didn’t know how to live anymore. I’d tailored my schedule around hers. It got to a point that I’d always ask her before I even accepted a job.

Fridaus: I’ll always maintain that long distance is the worst thing that can ever happen to anybody. Some days we talk until midnight in both our time zones, and we ask each other, “Why did we decide to do this?” But I couldn’t do this with anyone else. The trust between us and the communication have made it all work in our favour. If anything, long distance shows me how resilient we are.

Maleek: I think it’s also bearable because our long-distance has an end date, and it’s a sacrifice for our future. I planned to fly in and out to see her, but some policy changes made that harder, so we decided to let her finish her degree first. At the end of the day, marriage shouldn’t stop anyone from achieving their goals. However uncomfortable this phase is, we know it’s not permanent.

Fair enough. It’s been over one year of being together. What’s the best thing about being with each other?

Maleek: The friendship. I don’t have many friends. I can stay home from Monday to Friday without seeing anyone, and Fridaus is my guy. I also love her family. I still see her mum often, and her family feels like mine. That’s something rare; you won’t always find it with everybody.

Fridaus: I’d say the friendship too, and the romance. Sometimes, I scroll through my gallery and think, “We look so good together.” I love how openly we communicate without blaming each other. Maleek also takes corrections well. Before I get angry or worked up about an issue, he’s quick to say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.” He doesn’t give me a chance to fight.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t call me out when I do something I shouldn’t, especially around religious issues. I’m stubborn, but he never attacks me. He speaks out of love, and he makes me want to listen. Now when I make a decision, I think about God and about Maleek.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?

Maleek: 15. Since I was 11 or 12, I’ve had a picture of my wife, how she’d look, how she’d speak, the family she’d come from, and how she’d treat people when nobody’s watching. Fridaus is that picture. Thinking about her makes me happy. She balances my nervous system.

Fridaus: 10. I prayed for a man who loves God and loves me, and I had a long checklist. Maleek ticked every box. I didn’t set a timeline, and God brought him at the time I needed him most. I can’t do long-distance with anyone else. It works because it’s Maleek.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

---

If you’ve enjoyed reading Love Life, our flagship series on love, heartbreak, and relationships, we have exciting news. We’ve partnered with Cassava Republic to publish a book based on the flagship. Coming January 2026, it’s about to be your favourite book.

Pre-order now and be the first to read it.