7 Nigerians Share How They Dealt With People Who Ghosted and Came Back

We’ve all been there. You meet a stranger, the vibes are through the roof and you tell yourself, “Oh, this might lead somewhere.” Then, all of a sudden, they disappear. Texts and calls go unanswered, and you have so many questions about what you did wrong. Then, just when you’re finally moving on, they show up out of the blue.

In modern dating, this is called zombie-ing. And these Nigerians share what it feels like to be on the receiving end of such unhinged ghosting.

Tunde*, 25

I planned a booty call with a girl I’d been flirting with. She actually started the flirting, and I got into it. She’d occasionally ask me to buy her lunch and stuff, and I’d do it. One day, we finally planned to meet. I made all the plans and paid for a hotel. On the day, she completely ghosted me. She ignored my calls and messages, so I took my L. Almost eight months later, she reacted to my DM saying, “You just forgot me.” I almost cursed her out. I’d even forgotten I still had her number. I blocked her and kept moving.

Charles*, 33

I met this babe on Tinder and we connected well. She invited me over, but she looked nothing like her pictures. She was much shorter and had an almost bleached complexion. I didn’t want the visit to be a waste, so I got down anyway, but deep down, I knew I’d ghost her afterwards. Funny enough, she ended up ghosting me. I couldn’t believe it. I even sexted her and sent some photos once, and she still aired me. Four or five months later, she sent a text asking me to come over. No apology, nothing. She acted like my previous messages didn’t exist. I finally got my chance to air her.

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Hadiza*, 29

I met this cool Chinese guy at a tech conference in Lagos. He was super helpful and even offered me a ride home. After that, we started talking and getting to know each other. I was already imagining myself dating a Chinese guy and having cute babies. After about two months of texting, we agreed to meet again. On the day, he acted fine but kept saying he was on his way. I waited for almost two hours before he finally texted that he couldn’t make it. Three weeks later, he asked me out of the blue what I was doing that weekend. He didn’t even try to acknowledge what happened the last time or try to make it up to me. Yet, I stupidly responded to his message almost immediately. He cancelled again the day before.

Jomi*, 27

I had casual sex with a guy who’d been eyeing me. It was mutual because I also liked him. But he switched up almost immediately. He didn’t even respond to my “Have you gotten home?” message that day. I wanted to text him and pour out my mind, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. The sex happened around March. Then, in November, this guy, whom I’d blocked on WhatsApp, reacted to my Instastory and simply said, “Link up?” I ignored his ass. Doing casual sex doesn’t mean you can ghost someone and then show up whenever you’re hungry for some again.

Dunni*, 33

I’ve had this stupid guy randomly show up and ghost for years. We met when I was in university and were supposed to date, but he wasn’t consistent, so I left him. Since then, he’d randomly reappear and try to continue our toasting conversation like he hadn’t disappeared for years. There was a time I didn’t hear from him for almost three years. Then he randomly sent me “Hey baby girl” on X. He showed up again some months ago, and I told him I was married. His response was, “So you couldn’t wait for me?” I had to send him a strong warning not to text me again. Very rubbish person.

Deji*, 24

I met this cute babe at a rave last year, and we vibed so well. I collected her number, but after her first response, she stopped replying. I’d see her photos and videos and comment on them, but she never responded. Some months ago, I attended group therapy in Ibadan, and guess who showed up? This babe tried to act like she hadn’t ghosted me for more than a year. I just said a casual hi and kept it moving. She didn’t even apologise or acknowledge what happened. I actually wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I didn’t. I just let it go.

Denzel*, 29

I once dated a babe who didn’t break up with me. She simply ghosted. She stopped responding everywhere, and three months later, I found out from her cousin that she’d relocated. I asked for her number, but her cousin was reluctant because she’d asked him not to give it to me. He eventually did, but she still didn’t respond. It messed me up because I had so many unanswered questions, and I genuinely loved her. It took time, but I moved on. She came home for Detty December in 2024 and asked if I wanted to link up. I did, but I was in Abuja. I didn’t respond.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

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